i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
