we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
