After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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