Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
