Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
