I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize