..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
