I need help removing her.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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