I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
