woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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