the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
