Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
