this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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