I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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