Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
