I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
