She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Randomize
