He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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