ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
