he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
