I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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