I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
