Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
