i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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