as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
