yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
