omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
