after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
