can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
even my farts smell like vagina
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
