Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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