awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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