Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
