Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
