do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
