You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
