no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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