Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
