Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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