Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
