I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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