I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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