i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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