we're blogging at a bar
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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