I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
