shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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