I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
