why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
