I will die if light touches me.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
