Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Vodka?
Forever.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
