In the future we'll all be gay
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
