I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
