Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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