capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
