My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
